Embrace Your Shake

How many of us are unhappy about some sort of limitation we have and see them as keeping us from the life we ‘could have had’?  I know that this has been an issue for me in the past.  Being shy, being on the ADD spectrum and not having a business mind have all felt like the things that have held me back.  But what if I were to embrace them?  What if I were to think of them as things that could move me forward in life versus hold me back?

Phil Hansen was an art student who developed a tremor in his hand.  Imagine how that would make an artist feel.  But then a neurologist said a simple thing that pushed him forward: embrace the shake.  He took this on and not only used his shake to create amazing art, but also thought of it as a metaphor; how can one grow by embracing what seems to be holding you back?  Or in his words, “I wondered, could you become more creative, then, by looking for limitations?

In his TED talk which can be found here, I loved some of his final words. “Now, when I run into a barrier or I find myself creatively stumped, I sometimes still struggle, but I continue to show up for the process and try to remind myself of the possibilities…I was learning to let go, let go of outcomes, let go of failures, and let go of imperfections.

How powerful!  By letting go, he was actually growing.  By embracing the limitations, he was soaring.

When should you seek a therapist?

I was reading a blog post on Psych Central about when a person should seek a therapist.  It can be a difficult decision to make as I’ve found on some web boards where people ask about choosing therapy or whether or not to go.  People think that since they are shy or have a hard time talking to strangers that therapy won’t work.  As a therapist, I’d like to say that I won’t be a stranger to you for long – part of my job is to get to know you and to have an alliance between us.  Others worry about being judged.  This is not my job.  I’m not there to judge you.  What I am there to do is help you move in a healthier direction and we’re going to do it side by side in collaboration.  Others have been raise to just ‘buck up and get over it’.  I know that feeling.  Really.  In my family, we were raised to deal with physical illness that way (and I still fight it sometimes).  Sometimes you just need someone who will listen and work with you to find a new direction.  Someone who isn’t part of your personal life (like a friend or parent).

So, once you have figured out that you might possibly, maybe, think about going, when should you go?  I like the list that Psych Central came up with:

1.   The problem causes significant distress in your life.  Is it coming between you and your friends, your significant other?  Are you struggling to do work at school or in your job?  Have you stopped doing the things you love?  Yup, it’s time to seek help.

2. Nothing you’ve done seems to help.  I get it.  I try everything I can think of before I seek out my GP.  I don’t want to acknowledge that I can’t handle the pain.  But sometimes you have to acknowledge that the problem is bigger than you and someone else might be able to help.  Yup, it’s time to seek help.

3. Everyone in your life is sick of listening to you.  Are you becoming a broken moaning record?  Are people seemingly avoiding you because all you can talk about is your problem?  Can you focus on nothing but your problem?  While most people have friends or family who would love to help, sometimes a problem is too much for them to handle.  And that’s okay.  That’s what therapists are here for.  We won’t get sick of listening to you, and we’re trained to help.

4. You start using or abusing someone or something to alleviate your problems.  It’s tempting to have just one more drink.  It feels like it covers the pain.  But it doesn’t make it go away, and you may start to use that alcohol more and more.  Or you may feel anger.  And take it out on a significant other.  Yup, it’s time to seek out therapy.

5. People have noticed and said something to you.  It’s easy to discount what other people say…they don’t know your life.  But if you keep hearing it or you hear it from someone you have always trusted, then it’s time to look within and figure out if they are right.  What are they noticing that is so concerning?  Is it something from the above 4 reasons?  Perhaps, it’s time to find a professional to talk to.

This decision can be hard, but you can learn so much about yourself and the way you work.  There are so many possible therapists and therapies out there.  Talk to your GP, talk to a friend you know who’s seen a therapist in the past, check out the professional associations to see who is recommended.  But if you need therapy, find someone.  You don’t need to live with the pain.

What are your interests?

I love writing on my blog and on my Twitter, but I know that I want to write things that will be of interest to my current or future readers. So…if you read my blog, what do you want to hear about? What are your interests? Let me know and I’ll do the research and reading for you…and try to write about it in a language with is accessible.

Get in touch on my Twitter or here in the Comments. And if you find something you like, please feel free to share on Twitter or Facebook!

Business Name

I have finally purchased the domains for my psychotherapy business. I’ll be moving on to making a website for the business and will be connecting the two together. Very exciting in my move toward my own private practice. What is the name you ask? Resilience Counselling. It’s something I think which speaks to what I want to do – help people (especially kids and teens) become more resilient. I’ll definitely post when this website becomes available.

I’m also going to start tweeting and using Facebook as well too. Yup, I’m trying to take on social media. So, if you want to check out my tweets and Facebook, check out the following:
@counselling101 & https://www.facebook.com/ResilienceCounselling. Come check it out!

Welcome to my blog

Let me introduce myself.  I am a trained counsellor who is currently working in a high school in London, England, but who will be going off into the world of private practice in Sept 2013.  I am hoping to get some further training, and will specialize in working with children, teens and young adults, aged 10-25, as well as parents.  I come primarily from a CBT background, but am interested and have taught about  many other modalities of therapy.

In this blog, I hope to help those who are interested in therapy to explore their many options, learn more about mental illness and find links to a variety of topics.  If I see an article I find interesting, I’ll post it here as well.

The one thing I will never do is blog about my patients.  I hold their information under strict confidentiality guidelines.  If I post anything from my own point of view about mental health, it will be about very generic topics which I have read about, rather than about the work I’ve done with clients.

I hope you enjoy and feel free to comment on my posts!